At Last, My
love has come along….
The Memory Book
–
For a number
of weeks I have enjoyed a special time in the memory book of my early life,
reminiscing about a blossoming love for a young maiden. She is a tender flower who has occupied the
center of my world for over forty-five years.
Ours is a love affair that was born in innocence and has intertwined two
lives into one.
As the beauty of a
flowering clematis hides the rustic trellis that supports it, so the fragrance
of her grace and charm serve to hide my rocks and crags. She fills my voids in so many ways. As Rocky said, “I got gaps, she got gaps,
together we got no gaps”. I truly love
her more each day.
Indulge me
as I share our story….
The First
Time Ever I Saw Your Face – by Ewan MacColl
The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and the stars, were the gifts you gave
To the dark and endless skies, my love
To the dark and endless skies
The first time, ever I saw, your face, your face, your face.
It was love
at first sight! Well, love at first
sight is a stretch. That wasn’t to be, not for a while anyway….
It was the
spring of 1970 and we met on a phone call that I made to her house, looking for her sister Nancy. I was
working as a projectionist, providing dinner relief at the local movie theaters
in Annapolis. We began talking more
regularly and Jane was captivated by my voice. I offered to give her a ride home from
school. She was a mature fourteen and in
the eighth grade at Annapolis Junior High and I was seventeen and a senior at
Annapolis High.
This was not
my first encounter with her. You see, when
I was in the second grade with her sister Wendy, our class took a field trip to
the Bowen farm. I guess Jane was about four
at the time. I am sure she was there
that day but I don’t remember her. I do have a vivid memory of her mom making
butter and packing it in a small wooden box with a lid that put a design on the
top of the block of butter.
This second
encounter, at Annapolis Junior High so many years later, didn’t lead to a
lasting relationship either, and after a brief time hanging out occasionally we
went in different directions. Well, truth
be told, she kicked me to the curb and I moved on, for a season.
The
Interlude –
Jane’s
oldest sister Ann married Johnny Perry, a street racing legend from the village
of Shady Side in the south end of our county.
Although a bit older than me, his fame for fast cars spread to the
racing wannabees of my age bracket.
Through my ongoing casual friendship with Nancy and Jane I had met
Johnny and worked with him occasionally in Jane’s dad’s landscaping business. He was an excellent mechanic and I loved
hanging out at Ann and Johnny’s house fooling around with race cars.
I guess I
was one of those friendly guys that dart in and out of a family’s life, one who
gets along with everyone, sisters, boyfriends, brothers, mom or dad. No agenda, I just seemed to show up around
the Bowen family from time to time. With
a large family there is always something going on and some of my friends were
dating the sisters. Jane is the middle
child of seven.
In 1971, Jane
was dating a guy named Gene who was drafted into the Army. Nancy asked me to accompany her, Jane, and
Gene’s mom to Gene’s graduation from basic training at Fort Dix in New
Jersey. At the ceremony, Gene’s army
friends discretely called me GI Jody, a name given to the guy back home that
steals his girl while he is away in the service.
I didn’t pick up on it at the time since I
wasn’t interested in Jane, but in her sister Nancy. Gene told
Jane, “Glenn is going to end up marrying one of the Bowen sisters”. Jane assured him in no uncertain terms that
it would not be her!
Jane was
working for an older widow lady, Mrs. Willis, serving her dinner and providing
companionship, a job Nancy passed down to her.
She also worked at Woodies, a local department store, in the wig and purse section. She was a cosmetology student
in school.
One day
while hanging at Ann and Johnny’s, Jane needed a ride home from Mrs. Willis’,
which in retrospect, seems to be a recurring theme in our story. We began hanging out occasionally since Gene
was away. Our friendship was one of “convenience”
for both of us. You see, Jane had money and
no wheels, and I had wheels and no money.
We began spending more time together with absolutely no romantic
connection at all. If we went to the movies
she paid the way. I would pick her up
and we would hang out at the local burger joint, she with her friends and me
with mine. She would fill my gas tank
and I would chauffeur her where she wanted to go. Like the old country song goes, “ If you got the
money honey, I got the time…”.
We spent
lots of time together and when Gene came home on leave we would go our separate
ways. The relationship continued the
whole time he was in the service. We had
a couple of friends named Kim and Eddie.
Kim was Jane’s childhood girlfriend and we did a lot with them. We celebrated Jane’s sixteenth birthday
during that time and her getting her driver’s license.
Again, we
had absolutely no romantic involvement.
Just two friends hanging out, enjoying life with no need to impress one
another, or put on the false face needed when a love relationship is at
stake.
Two years
went by and the time came for Gene’s discharge from the Army. Kim asked Jane “what will happen to your
friendship with Glenn after Gene comes home?”
It was a question that brought to light the fact that over the two year
period we had grown to be more than just best friends, in fact, we had fallen
deeply in love. The thought of parting
ways was heart wrenching.
The Bible
uses four Greek words for love. agápe, philía,
storgē, and éros.
agápe is
the word that describes a love that is unconditional, like God’s love for His
own. It is not based on feelings as much
as the “setting an affection on someone”, just for who they are, or often, in
spite of who they are.
philía has
the connotation of brotherly love. It is
a dispassionate virtuous love expressed to family members, friends etc.
storgē has the idea of a love
for people groups, like your family, church, bowling team etc.
éros is a love that is driven by sexual passion. We get our English word erotic from éros.
The love
Jane and I shared was made up of agápe, philía, and storgē.
There was no physical attraction at all, just the development of a deep
soul oneness between two people who weren’t looking for it.
Needless to say, Gene's homecoming was a traumatic event. I had planned for some time to visit my best friend from high school. Freddie was in the Air Force and was stationed in New Mexico. Though unplanned, the date of my visit coincided with Gene's return to Annapolis.
Jane broke the news to him and we were very sorry that an unforeseen relationship had developed between us. Gene was a real gentleman and an overall great guy and took the news as well as could be expected. After all, he was the one that prophesied that "Glenn would end up marrying one of the Bowen sisters".
Changing
roles -
I had fallen
in love with my best friend, without even knowing that it was unfolding. My love for Jane was, and is, deep and
abiding. In retrospect, our friendship,
unencumbered with all of the affection stuff, allowed us to come to know and
accept one another on a completely different level that most of our “dating” peers.
The Kiss -
The first time ever I kissed your lips
I felt the earth, move in my hand
Like the trembling heart, of a captive bird
That was there at your command my love
That was there at your command
I still remember our first kiss. What a special moment when two friends who have established a deep and abiding love for one another, move from a platonic friendship to a romantic one. Without any expectation that our time together would evolve in that direction, we had moved into new territory.
At that point our relationship began to deepen on a different plane and we were soon talking about marriage. I can't imagine what her parents thought about the idea. Jane was seventeen and in her senior year of high school.
It never
dawned on me to ask her Dad for her hand in marriage so I never knew how her
parents felt. I guess maybe it was a
natural progression from their perspective.
Nancy and Wendy were now married and Jane was next in line. I had a good job and in our generation you
fell in love, got married, had children, and lived happily ever after. Remember, Ozzie and Harriet Nelson, and Ward
and June Cleaver, were the models for our generation.
Engaged -
That
December of 1973, Jane’s oldest sister Ann accompanied me to shop for an
engagement ring that I planned on giving Jane at Christmas. I remember walking down Howard Street in
Baltimore and Ann was crying, “She’s so young”.
I was not
mature enough to think about how I was going to pop the question. We had already decided we would get married so
I didn’t even think about formally proposing to her, just surprising her with
the ring was the only thing on my mind.
What a dud I
was. I gave it to her on Christmas
morning at Ann’s house with no special clever fanfare, as if I were handing her
any ordinary Christmas present. I still
regret that blunder. Thankfully she was
pleased with the engagement ring I had chosen for her. I guess her love for me overcame the fact
that I was a klutz.
Wedding
Bells –
Our
engagement lasted for over a year. Well,
she did need to finish High School. We
were married on March 22, 1975 in a simple, lovely ceremony. Jane’s best friend Kim served as our Maid of
Honor and my best friend Freddie served as Best Man.
Both of our families had lots of relatives
and friends who joined us for the exchange of vows. Jane’s parents hosted a wonderful reception
and my Dad arranged for a famous Annapolis Saxophone player, Delbert Puschert and his
band to entertain the guests. It was a
marvelous celebration.
We
honeymooned at Rehoboth Beach in Delaware, two youngsters oblivious to the
challenges that life would throw our way, and confident that our love for each
other would stand the test of time. Oh
how I loved that girl! To be married to
your best friend is the richest blessing in the world.
God declared
in the book of Genesis, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for
him”. God had definitely filled my
aloneness with a magnificent bride who would blossom into an incredible life partner,
sustainer of our home, and mother of our children.
The Test of
Time -
Thus began a
forty year journey that has led to an encounter with Jesus, the birth of five
wonderful children, as well as six grandchildren, and has taken us across the United
States and halfway around the world. I
love her more each day and look forward to many more years with the best friend
I could ever have.
Like many
who have been married for a long time we have found a oneness in each other that
is hard to explain. We are two
individuals created in the image of God and following God’s plan for marriage,
have become one. We are all we need, and
we do need each other. I am lost without
her. She completes me in so many ways
and I thank God for her love and companionship.
Something
That We Do - by
Clint Black
I remember well the day we
wed, I can see that picture in my head
I still believe the words
we said, Forever will ring true
Love is certain, Love is
kind, Love is yours and love is mine
But it isn't something
that we find, it's something that we do
It's holding tight, and
lettin go, it's flying high and laying low
Let your strongest
feelings show and your weakness too
It's a little and a lot to
ask, an endless and a welcome task
Love isn't something that
we have, it's something that we do
We help to make each other
all that we can be
Though we can find our
strength and inspiration independently
The way we work together
is what sets our love apart
So closely that we can't
tell where I end and where you start
It gives me heart
remembering how we started with a simple vow
There's so much to look
back on now, still it feels brand new
We're on a road that has
no end and each day we begin again
Love's not just something
that we're in, it's something that we do
Love is wide, Love is
long, Love is deep and Love is strong
Love is why I love this
song, I hope you love it too
I remember well the day we
wed, I can see that picture in my head
Love isn't just those
words we said, It's something that we do
There's no request too big
or small, we give ourselves, we give our all,
Love isn't some place that
we fall... It's something that we do
We Journey
On -
As we move
into the fifth decade together I am so excited about what God has in store for
our marriage. We share a common faith in
our Lord Jesus Christ. His presence in
our lives is the glue to holds us together and unites us in all aspects of our
Worship of God and in our calling to ministry.
This passage
from the Forth Chapter of Eclesiastes holds special meaning
9 Two are better than one,
because
they have a good return for their labor:
10 If either of them falls down,
one
can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and
has no one to help them up.
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will
keep warm.
But
how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two
can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Jesus, Jane,
and me, a three stranded cord that is not easily broken.
I love you
Jane Ellen Bowen and I would marry you again in a heartbeat.
Grow old
with me, the best is yet to be!
Happy
Fortieth Anniversary my sweets!
